What Do You Call a Professional Wide Receiver who is Not Very Good in Bed?

Ya gotta wonder if some of my NFL bubble gum cards from the early 1970’s might have been more valuable today if I hadn’t been so creative as a child.

Introducing FAIR HOOKER and his freaky football friends.

FAIR HOOKER – WR, Cleveland Browns

JOHNNY UNITAS – QB, Baltimore Colts

LARRY CSONKA – RB, Miami Dolphins

RAYMOND CHESTER – TE, Oakland Raiders

LES JOSEPHSON – RB, Los Angeles Rams

DAVE SMITH – WR, Pittsburgh Steelers

DAN PASTORINI – QB, Houston Oilers

BRUCE GOSSETT – K, San Francisco 49ers

RANDY VATAHA – WR, New England Patriots

DENNIS PARTEE – K, San Diego Chargers


MORE DEMOTIVATIONAL Sayings: Part II…Sponsored by “Futurama”

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It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.


Winners never fly higher than when they’re bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.


Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.


The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you’re pretentious.


Just because you’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly stupid.


No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you’ve probably only seen the tip of them


It hurts to admit when you make mistakes – but when they’re big enough, the pain only lasts a second


Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.


If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments.


Your role may be thankless, but if you’re willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.


What is The Secret? Pretend you’ve already achieved it- Then offer to sell The Secret to others.


Luck can’t last a lifetime unless you die young.


Just because you’re necessary doesn’t mean you’re important.


How can the future be so hard to predict when all of my worst fears keep coming true?


When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it’s really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you’re pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.