FIFTY SHADES of GREY; Blog Part II: or, Bed, Bath and Beyondage


So as I mentioned in Part I of this blog, a friend of mine loaned me this book called “Fifty Shades of Grey” a few months ago and I thought it was about the history of the Crayon.

Well, I read all 514 pages of this scintillating novel (well almost all, as some of this used book’s pages were stuck together) and I was wrong. Technically, you could say that it involved one large purple Crayon (sans Harold), but basically it was about something other than coloring. Anyway here is the part where I ruin the book for everyone (approx. 3.5 women and 3.5 billion men) by giving away the stuff that happens…


This book is incredibly exciting and is quite the page turner, as I mentioned above, if you read a used copy of this book then you might consider using a letter opener as your bookmark and wearing rubber gloves.

Here are the highlights:

There is this 27 year old Billionaire dude that is totally handsome, has a helicopter, a private jet, a man-servant, a smart phone, a swanky Seattle apartment and a lifetime pocket supply of condoms. And there is this 21 year old hot college chick that is a virgin, is best friends with a Mexican guy, has a real bitch of a roommate, can’t hold her liquor, uses pay phones, drives a 30 year old VW Bug and possesses an endless supply of Scrunchies.

They meet and have lots of amazingly detailed sex on any available flat surface or otherwise unoccupied space.  Oh, and he likes bondage and she likes English tea.

The End.

I can’t wait to read PART II which I think is called “50 Shades of Black and Blue”. I’m sure it’s just like Part I, but with even more bloody intercourse (Oh, c’mon…that’s a British term…really it is!), so what’s not to like?!


(For the record, I’m not actually a big fan of English tea)

FIFTY SHADES of GREY: Or, I don’t think I was supposed to read this book


So a friend of mine loaned me this book called “Fifty Shades of Grey” a few months ago. She had also given me a book about raising boys and some spiritual stuff and so I said thanks and put it in my pile. I love to read and always have at least three books going at the same time. I would get to it eventually.

So today is my 50th birthday, and as if it were a sign from God, there it was…the book…staring at me from atop the pile. A fire was blazing in the fireplace and I didn’t feel like doing much…so I snapped up the book and got comfortable on the couch.

I don’t read book jackets or reviews and I definitely don’t read the last page first. I like to be lured into the subject matter of my reading, whether it is fiction, non-fiction, historical or self-help. The cover was dark and classy and it stated that it was a “#1 New York Times Bestseller” so I knew I was in for a treat. But I did ponder how a book about the history of the Crayon could be so popular.

Oh, well…I cracked the cover and attacked the first page with unbridled vigor…


To be continued… CLICK to see PART II.